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1. You must create a journal entry and post these rules.
2. You must list five eleven things that either annoy or...COMPLETELY PISS YOU OFF!!!! And a brief reasoning why.
3. You must tag at least one other person.
Why Eleven? Because I like the Nostalgia Critic.
1. Destruction of literature. This is almost self-explanatory, but it more so pisses me off because of my recent "art" project, where I had to create a sculpture out of papers from books. Literally, a book is art. Plain and simple.
2. Unskippable Horror Movie ads. I can skip ads for movies for young kids, I can skip ads for action movies, I can skip ads for tv shows. Why the fuck can't I skip ads for horror movies, something that, you would think, should be skippable before movies. I mean seriously? It's not like every single Youtube user is at least 13 years old. And especially the graphic ones, most notably "Unfriended," which shows suicide, mutilation, death, sex, and everything under the sun that would normally NOT be allowed on Youtube. I guess when you pay Youtube, rules become suggestions.
3. Repetition. All work and no play makes me pissed. All work and no play makes me pissed. All work and no play and you get the point. As a kid who grew up on a lifestyle so regimented that I had to literally eat at a different time from the rest of the kids in Kindergarten, I can honestly say that doing anything repeatedly for weeks, or even months at a time, becomes the stalest pile of shit.
4. Children. Speaking of Kindergarten. I hate the idea of having children. Even the concept of pregnancy somewhat unnerves and disturbs me, even though, oddly enough, I study Biology a lot. I don't like kids in more than the span of about sixty to ninety minutes, because I hate loud things, excitement at the most odd things, and the ever popular fact that children have literally no filter. Babies I don't mind horribly though, especially if I don't have to do anything with them.
5. What do you want for (Holiday)? By far something that sounds like the most first-world problem available, it is in fact just that. I don't need anything else, to be frank. I have an unopened pile of video games right next to where I am currently sitting because I don't have the time to play all of them individually (thank you American Educational System), so when I tell people that I want nothing but literal money or gift cards for Christmas or my Birthday, I notice my mom tends to believe that I will be mortified and scarred for life when I realize I have no presents to unwrap, when, in reality, it's the opposite.
6. The American Educational System. Speaking of the opposite, the American Educational System. That's the joke, ladies and gentlemen. There is not a single redeeming quality of the American Educational System aside from the fact that I did learn that Mitochondria is the powerhouse of a cell. The system is broken, bloodied, beaten, and beheaded, but still looked at as a fully-prepared, functional member of society, on it's way to do good like save a puppy or punch an asshole, when in reality, it's still trying to recover from the hangover it suffered from fifty years ago, and only seems to be interested in staring at underage girl's bra straps like they're the entrance to heaven.
7. Restrictions. Now I might not be the most prolific author, but it does tend to show that the less something is specifically outlined by someone else for me, the more room I have to grow and create something better. Any high schooler with an English project will always say that they will bullshit an essay by pulling it from their ass, but for me, it goes deeper. The less I care, the more I bullshit, and the more I try to bullshit to please the teacher. Coincidently, my best work is not bullshit, my best work, is in fact, trash.
8. People telling me to jump through the hoop. Otherwise known as Seaworld, in my opinion, because at this point in my life, I have jumped through so many hoops since I was around the age of five, that the whales of Seaworld have started their own petitions to free me from my way too small tank that is school, stress, and life in general. Let's face it, yes some hurdles have to be passed over, but do all of these hurdles have to be necessary? In my mind, no. In fact, sometimes jumping over hurdles can lead to serious injuries that screw up or nullify the rest of the track. So, in other words, don't jump over ALL the hurdles, just the necessary ones.
9. Politics. Welcome to America where an entire group of white old rich men can claim that they care about people while simultaneously laughing at rape victims, giving excuses to racists and rapists, support classism, and paint themselves as hard workers, and then still be considered sane and win elections. Not a single thing in American politics works, from elections to our fundamental system, let's face it.
10. Can you eat _____? Because you're diabetic? You know, it seems as though nobody teaches proper etiquette when speaking to diabetics. The answer is yes, I can and do eat whatever I want. No, Diabetes is not lethal or transferable. Yes, that is a metal box on my hip that goes into my stomach. And yes, I am eating that donut, no you can't have it.
11. The idea that children's media has to be simple. This one is a lot less related to me, and more so related to how I feel. For some reason, people tend to think that if it's a kids movie, it doesn't have to be good - that it's only job is to get kids to shut up, sit down, and distract themselves for a hour or an hour and a half. They seem to convince themselves that, as a kid's movie, it can't possibly exist on the same emotional or spiritual or metaphysical realm as classics such as Citizen Kane or Casablanca. That, however, is bullshit. A good "kids' movie" exists for the family, it exists for everyone to learn from and respect. A good "kids' show" exists for everyone's entertainment and for everyone to look at and say 'wow. I relate to _____." In fact, I would even argue that a good piece of children's media has to be better than adult media because they have to be more subdued in their tones and more subtle with their symbolism to be child programming. And that's why mindless children's media pisses me the hell off. In Teen Titans we never truly see that Raven experienced abuse from her father, but it's implied with various scenes during Trigon's attack, or we never actually see Cyborg go through racism, but it's implied by way of his robotic parts. So to see these epic and amazing themes and character traits be flat out washed away by the idiotic mind numbing "Spongebob" that is Teen Titans Go! is aggravating to the highest extreme. Or with Big Hero 6, with the characters going through real, horrifying traumatic stress and grief, it brings kids or adults who have gone through this to the forefront, being able to relate to the characters. Or with Princess and the Frog when it comes to the idea of racial bias and working hard to achieve goals. Or How to Train Your Dragon with believing in a radical ideal. Or any fucking Doctor Seuss book. However, this isn't to say that simple kids programming is bad, necessarily, sometimes some distraction from the real world is great for kids so they don't become permanently grounded in reality, it's just saying that it shouldn't be considered as simple or bad. I mean, animated movies like How to Train Your Dragon, Princess and the Frog, Big Hero 6 all scored higher critically than last years' big artistic "blockbuster" American Sniper. But that might just be all my opinion.
Well, that went on into a very lengthy rant. Oh well, I'm used to it.
You contradict yourself immensely. What makes the laws of other countries so fucking amazing that they deserve the ability to revoke your "right" to not vaccinate?
The "mercury" used is not actually in the vaccine. If you managed to do this little thing called "research," you would find that the mercury is used in order to sterilize the vaccines so that absolutely nothing gets into your body that shouldn't. (www.babycenter.com/0_vaccines-…, www.fda.gov/BiologicsBloodVacc… )
If you ever got a vaccine, you would know that they make you sign that you are not allergic to the contents within the vaccine. Or, it should be common knowledge to say that you have allergies. (www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd-vac/s… )
Yes, the flu shot is not always effective, I will agree with you on that, however, for a Type-One diabetic like myself, I'd much rather risk having a non-effective shot than dying of the flu like I almost did when I was seven years old.
And no. People didn't survive before vaccines. In fact, the whole purpose behind vaccines came about to eliminate smallpox. Before the vaccine for smallpox, hundreds died everyday from the disease. Afterwards, lo and behold, the disease is nearly wiped out. At least until morons like you bring it back because you refuse vaccination. (4.bp.blogspot.com/-_2XuUcW1QYM… )
Because of moronic mindsets like yours, I could die easily. I have been a Type-One Diabetic for over twelve years (more than 3/4's of my life). Want to know what that means? It means I have no fucking immune system. I have an autoimmune disorder. I have literally no defense. It means that the minute I come in contact with a disease that you carry, I get it and (more than likely) die from it. In short: NOTHING WILL MAGICALLY FIX MY IMMUNE SYSTEM. This "Herd immunity" you dismiss, IS FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME. It's for:
As well as several other people with natural immune system irregularities.
Because, if one of you little shits gets the virus, guess what, you've just killed so many innocent people: including me (the diabetic), my aunt (cancer), grandmothers (cancer), several of my teachers (cancer), and several of my friends (diabetes). But, oh I'm sorry, it's YOUR right, you fucking twat.
And the vaccines do work. There's a reason we don't have to deal with smallpox or measles anymore (aside from cases that are related to your motherfucking belief). (www.cdc.gov/measles/cases-outb…)
And do you want to know what will eradicate EBOLA? Well, considering Ebola's a virus, it'll be a vaccine. I'm sorry, I thought you said you were against vaccination.
Yes, you are anti-vaccine. How fucking dare you say that you aren't. You wrote an entire paper on how people shouldn't get vaccinated. That's like saying your pro-civil rights while waving a Confederate Flag around.
You have no sources. Why the fuck should I believe a single thing you say? DO SOME FUCKING RESEARCH
The diabetic who, on behalf of all the people your your moronic decisions would more than likely kill because you're terrified of needles and proven science, proves you wrong, you dense motherfucker.
“Mako!” Sanageyama called, looking around for his partner, “Mako, where are you? If you don’t hurry, we’ll be la- What are you doing?”
He found the Banette calmly sitting in front of the guild, oblivious to the world around her. In her felt plush hand was a rock. Just an ordinary rock. Literally nothing about the rock was interesting in the least, but it seemed to take the entire focus of the marionette pokemon.
“Mako?” The Pawniard asked hesitantly, stepping over towards the Banette and poking her cheek, “We’re going to be late. Snap out of it.”
“It’s amazing!” The Banette loudly announced for no reason in particular, causing her pawniard friend to jump back and several passersby to look in their direction.
Sighing, Sanageyama asked, “What is?”
“I can actually hold things!” Mako announced, jumping up cheerfully and smiling widely, “I have arms! I can point! I can wave! I can pick things up! I can open doors!”
“But you can go through doors-”
“I can hold onto things! I can wear my vest without it falling off! I can hug people!”
“Can I have a hug?” Sanageyama hopefully interjected, albeit under his breath.
“Did you say something Sangey?” Mako asked, suddenly snapped out of her rant. Sanageyama coughed.
“We’re going to be late.” Suddenly Mako’s eyes widened.
“Oh crap! I forgot!” The marionette suddenly grabbed her partner’s arm and began running, “Come on Sang! We gotta go!”
And with that Team Safe Enterprise was on it’s way to its first dungeon exploration mission.
The golden and oddly ornate door creaked open. A rather loud and high pitched squeal came from behind it.
“I’m sorry,” Mako said, entering the first room of the dungeon with Sanageyama, “I can’t help it, it’s so cool!”
“Just, hush, alright, we don’t know what’s in here.” Sanageyama muttered, rubbing his temple to get over the sound of Mako squealing.
“Aw come on, can’t we have fun?” Mako begged, frowning.
“Yes, we can, but my idea of fun doesn’t involve getting caught by whatever’s in this room.” The Pawniard muttered as an explanation. The room in question was rather dank and humid. Moss grew up the purple limestone-esque walls, puddles littered the floor of the room, sometimes stretching across the entire width of the crevice. The only readily available light emanated from the now opened door as well as the occasional glowing stone embedded in the ceiling. It smelled like fish.
“It’s so dark and depressing.” Mako muttered, looking around the room as she walked through it.
“I know, it’s so much better than the guild.” Sanageyama muttered, eliciting a giggle from the Banette, “I wasn’t joking…?-”
Their short conversation was interrupted however, by the sound of flesh hitting the ground over and over again.
“You hear that too?” The Pawniard asked, his claw already sheathed in an aura of darkness, prepped and ready to use a night slash attack.
“I can’t see what it is though…” Mako muttered. After thinking for a second, she announced, “I got an idea.”
Quickly, the marionette pokemon reached up and grabbed the zipper for her mouth. Opening her mouth quickly, a single will-o-wisp blue flame flew from her mouth towards the sound.
Flapping around on the floor in front of the two pokemon was none other than…
Sanageyama stared at the opponent with what could only be described with contempt and disappointment, as if he felt he deserved better. Mako, however, had her own approach.
“Aw! It’s so cute and useless! I want ten!” The Banette yelled, running towards the fish pokemon.
“Don’t come any closer!” The Barboach yelled. Upon closer inspection, it actually was wearing a bucket for a helmet.
“This is so not worth my time…” Sanageyama muttered.
“You see, you’re not dealing with the average Barboach,” The fish out of water began, “You see - I have grown above and beyond the limitations of an ordinary Barboach. I, Captain Seabiskut, have become a super Barboach!”
“I don’t think I like you that much…” Mako muttered, walking away and heading towards the next room.
“W-What! Come back here and face me you cowar-” The Barboach captain began before being cut off by Sanageyama stepping onto him and over him to follow his team leader, who was presently waiting for him in front of a locked door.
“Hang on, I got this.” The Pawniard began, kneeling on front of the lock. Using his claw as a pick, he began to try to open it himself-
The door opened, with Mako on the other side, strangely holding onto what appeared to be a drumstick.
“Or you can just open it from the other side…” Sanageyama muttered, standing up, “Good job… Where’d you get the fleshcap?”
“Found it.” Mako smiled, about to take a bite out of it.
“Hey!” A voice yelled from further in the cave. Suddenly, the rather bulbous form of a Barboach rolled out in front of them, “You’re not supposed to be her- Is that a fleshcap?”
“Sure is!” Mako announced, about to take the bite again.
“We’ll give it to you if you just leave us alone.” Sanageyama interjected, grabbing the drumstick-esque thing from Mako’s hand.
“Deal!” The Barboach announced as Sanageyama chucked the flesh at him. The large fish instantly began to eat.
“My fleshcap!” Mako cried.
“Mako, you found that on the floor. Come on, there’s got to be something better in here.” Sanageyama sighed, dragging the dejected Mako towards an unlocked wooden door. Unbeknownst to the two, the Gluttonous Barboach had rolled away, unintentionally tripping onto the pressure plate for the rooms only trap. Instantly, several tons of rocks fell from the ceiling and onto the Barboach. Sighing, the Barboach did all he could think to do, and began to eat once again. The next room was almost the exact same aesthetically, aside from the two locked doors on the west wall and the wall in front of them. Mako picked up a spool of thread with rocks in it.
“I- Why?” Sanageyama asked, curious as to why there was now a rock in their bag.
“I like it.” Mako explained, smiling cutely.
“I- Fine.” And thus they continued west, using the same trick to get through the door. Inside that room they found, another spoolstone. Sighing once again, Sanageyama turned around to head through the door, only to step on the pressure plate of one of the dungeon’s traps.
“Crap!” Sanageyama announced, preparing for the attack with an Iron Defence. To his shock though, he felt nothing, but audibly heard several popping sounds. Looking around, he realized that he was being hit by a bubble attack.
“Bubbles…?” The Pawniard muttered, becoming disinterested again.
“Bubbles!” Mako yelled running into the stream of circular objects and popping as many as possible.
The duo continued to head through the dungeon, this time heading back into the previous room, and going through the other locked door. It looked like the rest of the dungeon: wet and dank. While Mako was off towards the front of the room, chasing another spoolstone, Sanageyama continued forward.
“Halt!” A voice echoed from the room.
“Finally, some action.” Sanageyama muttered, smirking. Even if it was another Barboach, at least it would be more fun than popping bubbles.
“You fools, you’ve fallen straight into the trap!” The Barboach announced. Suddenly, Sanageyama noticed that he was standing on the pressure plate of a trap. Rocks, pointed and deadly, began to hail down on the figure. Reacting as quickly as possible, Sanageyama prepared another Iron Defence. He felt the rocks hit against his body hard, and he could feel himself begin to weaken. But just as quickly as the hailing began, it stopped.
“Oh. Oh crap.” The Barboach muttered flopping forward, “No matter. You’ve messed up now. You see, you’re not dealing with an ordinary Barboach.”
Sanageyama’s look turned from rage to confusion.
“I feel like I’ve been down this road before, have we been through this before?” He muttered in confusion.”
“You see, I’m now above the limitations of an ordinary Barboach. I, Captain Hook, have become a super Barboach!” The Barboach captain announced.
“Yup, I’ve heard this before.” Sanageyama sighed, walking forward towards the door on the opposite end of the room.
“H-Hey! Come on! What is it because I’m a fish?!”
“Yes! Come on Mako, we’re clearing another room!” Sanageyama yelled to his Banette teammate, who followed obediently.
“Coming Sangey~!” Mako yelled, spoolstone in hand. She ran towards her Pawniard partner, unintentionally running over the Barboach captain, and knocking him out. Using the door opening technique once again, the duo entered the final room in this stretch of the dungeon. Immediately, Mako picked up what appeared to be a root of some kind.
“Mako, why do you keep finding these odd things- Is that a meatroot?” Sanageyama asked, suddenly noticing that this cave had a rather large amount of food lying around.
“I guess so…?” Mako asked, “What’s a meatroot?”
“It’s a root that tastes like meat.” Sanageyama explained. He had fond memories of eating them.
“Right. Well, bags full, so…” Mako muttered, chucking the meatroot away. Miraculously, the root flew through the air, and landed with an audible click upon a pressure plate. Instantly, the plate lit on fire in an ember attack. The root began to sizzle as if it was being cooked.
“How did you…?” The Pawniard began to ask, but stopped as he noticed another Glutinous Barboach roll over to the plate, patiently waiting for the meatroot to cease cooking.
“Nevermind, come on, we’ve just got one more room, I hope.” Sanageyama muttered, walking away from the room.
“Kay~.” Mako hummed, following him.
Together the two went south down to the southernmost room in the dungeon, failing to notice the new pile of rocks that had fallen onto their other glutinous friend. Finally they reached the southernmost room of the dungeon.
“Finally.” Sanageyama muttered.
“Not so fast!” A voice announced. Another Captain Barboach flopped out of the shadows.
“Aw, he’s wearing another helmet.”
“You fools have had the unfortunate luck of meeting me. And you see, I am no mere Barboach Captain-” The fish began.
“Oh my god…” Sanageyama growled, now seething with rage.
“I, Captain Fsh, have become a super Barboach!” The captain finished.
“Mako, knock him out.” Sanageyama ordered, “If I do it, I will be arrested for murder.”
“Kay!” Mako smiled, stepping forward.
A click sounded from under the ghost pokemon’s feet. The world seemed to move in slow motion for the next few seconds.
Rocks began to fall from the ceiling of the dungeon. Mako, unable to process it, stood in place and began to see the rocks fall. Sanageyama, acting quickly, pushed his partner away from the falling rocks. With barely enough time to pull up his Iron Defence, Sanageyama was buried in the rocks.
Mako finally got a hold of herself just in time to hear the final rocks falling. Standing up quickly, she turned and saw the pile. Her usually smiling face turned into a massive frown.
“Sang!” Mako yelled, running over to the pile and trying to pull some rocks out from it.
“Th- That actually worked?” The Barboach asked himself, “Holy crap! It actually worked! I’m getting a promotion for sure!”
“Y-You…” Mako muttered, slowly standing up and turning. Her face of sadness had contorted into one of rage, which was rather unsurprising given the circumstance.
“I WILL BREAK YOU!” Mako yelled, charging two Shadow Balls her hands.
“Well that’s going to suck-” The Barboach muttered as the Banette launched the attack, both of the balls instantly hitting and knocking the small fish out. Collapsing to her knees, the Banette leaned against the pile of rocks.
Suddenly, a rock fell off the top of the pile, then another, and another. Mako could faintly hear the sound of someone speaking, or cursing rather, growing louder and louder.
“And I swear that once I get out of this thing I will rip that things spine from it’s body!” Sanageyama yelled, slashing through the final rock on the top of the pile with a powerful, and angry, Metal Claw.
“Oh… I see you took care of him… Good job.” Sanageyama coughed, "We should probably get out of here now…"
Mako looked up and, upon comprehending the idea that her friend was alive, immediately jumped and cheered.
“What-?” Sanageyama began to ask before being violently tackled and hugged by the Banette.
“You’re alive!” Mako cheered, hugging her friend tightly. Sanageyama, suddenly comprehending who he was being hugged by, blushed lightly.
“C-come on, let’s get out of here.” Sanageyama muttered.
Favorite TV showsGravity Falls, Steven Universe, Kill la Kill, Hellsing, Dragon Ball ZFavorite bands / musical artistsMichael Jackson, Weird Al, Malukah, and Andrew W.K.Favorite booksOld Man and The Sea, The Book Thief, and Farewell to ArmsFavorite writersMichael Chrichton, Ernest HemingwayFavorite gamesHalo 4, Kerbal Space Program, and Mass Effect 2Favorite gaming platformXbox 360Tools of the TradeGIMP, Microsoft WordOther InterestsCryptozoology, Photography, Paleontology, and Writing