JurassicRaptor

You know, it's been a year since I wrote a journal on this website.

Honestly, don't know how I managed to avoid doing this for over a full year, it's honestly astounding to me. Especially with my last journal being about the piece of shit that was Jurassic World. Talk about a great ending.

Movie was so bad, didn't make me want to write a journal for a year.

But, I'm writing this now as a sort of explanation as to what's gone on in this year or so.

Started College last year, started as a Creative Writing major.
Best partis the lack of math classes, worst part was the roommate that I had initially. Guy was just weird, but oh well - I moved after a week so great.

Turned 18, so now I could legally... vote. (Thank you Scooby-Doo for that hilarious joke, I got so much mileage out of it)

Wrote a Top 10 best of/worst of for 2015, but never got around to publishing it. Mostly because it was things everyone expected. Mad Max: Fury Road best, Jurassic World worst - V1.0 of Kerbal Space Program best, Halo 5 worst. Okay, maybe not everyone expected it, but oh well, kind of late for that now.

Not much happened from that January to June outside of me going to College and being part of "campus life" I guess. You can tell how riveted I am about it.

Started up a Patreon account as well as a review only Tumblr blog.
www.patreon.com/JurassicRaptor…
theraptorreviews.tumblr.com
(Shameless plugs - I don't know who would even bother with the Patreon though)

And then started back up with School on Sept 1. Got moved back into my dorm, was placed with a roommate that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable and unsafe even so I did what any man of reasonable intelligence would do: get the hell out of there.

But now that it's been a year, I guess I can say that so far everything's going pretty okay. I'm in a better space now, and still with friends and family, so I guess everything's going alright.

Also, the monthly comissions from TamarinFrog are things I enjoy greatly.

So yeah.
Woo.
Go team.

Well today I saw the 4th worst Jurassic Park movie.

It may be rated better than the two other sequels, but at least the other two had a plot. They weren't great by any stretch of the means, but at least it was something. Here I couldn't care less for any of the characters that I actually forgot the names of the two main protagonists - the kids.

It's sad when people look at a movie that could be something great, and instead settle for when a movie just says fuck it and throws everything into a blender.

The movie has no suspense or terror. Instead these two emotions are replaced by stupidity as every single person who runs the park appears to have had a lobotomy.

"Giant dinosaur that has killed over fifty people and animals? Let's use non-lethal weapons!"
"Several people died in the last attempt to build this park? Let's add more danger!"
"Raptors? More like the next model of drones for war!"

This movie is what would happen if someone tried to remake Jurassic Park but failed to see everything but the dinosaurs, ironically. The characters are weak as hell, and the plot is nonsensical and a downright failure.

Perhaps the best word I've seen used to describe this movie is "Unnecessary." If this movie hadn't been made, nothing would be lost as it very blatantly has nothing else to add.

And I get it. Nothing can live up to the original Jurassic Park. It's nostalgia, effects, and characters combine in a way to make it an unforgettable classic even with it's mistakes. But to say that this movie is good just because it understands that it can't beat the original and doesn't try to is illogical. If you can't beat a movie, still try to. Don't just throw up your hands and yell "DO WHATEVER" because you've seen the farthest you can go, try to go further. Sure you've hit a wall, but at least reaching that wall deserves credit as nobody else has done it since the first Jurassic Park.

The movie does have some good parts, and that's the biggest shame. I see potential in it, but when I see the movie as a whole, I see Jurassic Park-lite for people who may never have seen the original. Bring on the Raptors. Bring on Chris Pratt. Bring on Dinosaur fights. But please for the love of all that is holy, bring on a plot as well. 

I'll write a full spoiler review later.
Hopefully the next twenty movies are better.
What? You thought they'd stop at this? No fucking way, they're earning big money, and they'll beat that dead Brachiosaur until it's gigantic ass stomach stops bleeding money.

Don't see this movie if you actually give a shit about story.
See this movie if you want five seconds of happiness at the end.

By the way, I'm now out of High School.

Whoo

Well, now that I've wasted eighteen seconds of your precious time, it's time for another journal.

But, before we begin on what will no doubt be a deep descent into my inner psyche and probable madness, let's start this journal out with something else.

docs.google.com/document/d/18A…

The above link will take you to a page of various things that I have authored that were accepted by Scholastics Art and Writing, and awarded thusly. 

That being said, however, I'm more proud of the piece that didn't get in:

docs.google.com/document/d/1U-…

Now that that's done, onto this... thing.

Tagged by: (Yes, I know it's late)

Rules:

1. You must create a journal entry and post these rules. 

2. You must list five eleven things that either annoy or...COMPLETELY PISS YOU OFF!!!! And a brief reasoning why. 

3. You must tag at least one other person. 

Why Eleven? Because I like the Nostalgia Critic.

1. Destruction of literature.
    This is almost self-explanatory, but it more so pisses me off because of my recent "art" project, where I had to create a sculpture out of papers from books. Literally, a book is art. Plain and simple.

2. Unskippable Horror Movie ads.
    I can skip ads for movies for young kids, I can skip ads for action movies, I can skip ads for tv shows. Why the fuck can't I skip ads for horror movies, something that, you would think, should be skippable before movies. I mean seriously? It's not like every single Youtube user is at least 13 years old. And especially the graphic ones, most notably "Unfriended," which shows suicide, mutilation, death, sex, and everything under the sun that would normally NOT be allowed on Youtube. I guess when you pay Youtube, rules become suggestions.

3. Repetition.
    All work and no play makes me pissed. All work and no play makes me pissed. All work and no play and you get the point. As a kid who grew up on a lifestyle so regimented that I had to literally eat at a different time from the rest of the kids in Kindergarten, I can honestly say that doing anything repeatedly for weeks, or even months at a time, becomes the stalest pile of shit.

4. Children.
    Speaking of Kindergarten. I hate the idea of having children. Even the concept of pregnancy somewhat unnerves and disturbs me, even though, oddly enough, I study Biology a lot. I don't like kids in more than the span of about sixty to ninety minutes, because I hate loud things, excitement at the most odd things, and the ever popular fact that children have literally no filter. Babies I don't mind horribly though, especially if I don't have to do anything with them.

5. What do you want for (Holiday)?
    By far something that sounds like the most first-world problem available, it is in fact just that. I don't need anything else, to be frank. I have an unopened pile of video games right next to where I am currently sitting because I don't have the time to play all of them individually (thank you American Educational System), so when I tell people that I want nothing but literal money or gift cards for Christmas or my Birthday, I notice my mom tends to believe that I will be mortified and scarred for life when I realize I have no presents to unwrap, when, in reality, it's the opposite.

6. The American Educational System.
    Speaking of the opposite, the American Educational System. That's the joke, ladies and gentlemen. There is not a single redeeming quality of the American Educational System aside from the fact that I did learn that Mitochondria is the powerhouse of a cell. The system is broken, bloodied, beaten, and beheaded, but still looked at as a fully-prepared, functional member of society, on it's way to do good like save a puppy or punch an asshole, when in reality, it's still trying to recover from the hangover it suffered from fifty years ago, and only seems to be interested in staring at underage girl's bra straps like they're the entrance to heaven.

7. Restrictions.
    Now I might not be the most prolific author, but it does tend to show that the less something is specifically outlined by someone else for me, the more room I have to grow and create something better. Any high schooler with an English project will always say that they will bullshit an essay by pulling it from their ass, but for me, it goes deeper. The less I care, the more I bullshit, and the more I try to bullshit to please the teacher. Coincidently, my best work is not bullshit, my best work, is in fact, trash.

8. People telling me to jump through the hoop.
    Otherwise known as Seaworld, in my opinion, because at this point in my life, I have jumped through so many hoops since I was around the age of five, that the whales of Seaworld have started their own petitions to free me from my way too small tank that is school, stress, and life in general. Let's face it, yes some hurdles have to be passed over, but do all of these hurdles have to be necessary? In my mind, no. In fact, sometimes jumping over hurdles can lead to serious injuries that screw up or nullify the rest of the track. So, in other words, don't jump over ALL the hurdles, just the necessary ones.

9. Politics.
    Welcome to America where an entire group of white old rich men can claim that they care about people while simultaneously laughing at rape victims, giving excuses to racists and rapists, support classism, and paint themselves as hard workers, and then still be considered sane and win elections. Not a single thing in American politics works, from elections to our fundamental system, let's face it.

10. Can you eat _____? Because you're diabetic?
    You know, it seems as though nobody teaches proper etiquette when speaking to diabetics. The answer is yes, I can and do eat whatever I want. No, Diabetes is not lethal or transferable. Yes, that is a metal box on my hip that goes into my stomach. And yes, I am eating that donut, no you can't have it.

11. The idea that children's media has to be simple.
    This one is a lot less related to me, and more so related to how I feel. For some reason, people tend to think that if it's a kids movie, it doesn't have to be good - that it's only job is to get kids to shut up, sit down, and distract themselves for a hour or an hour and a half. They seem to convince themselves that, as a kid's movie, it can't possibly exist on the same emotional or spiritual or metaphysical realm as classics such as Citizen Kane or Casablanca. That, however, is bullshit. A good "kids' movie" exists for the family, it exists for everyone to learn from and respect. A good "kids' show" exists for everyone's entertainment and for everyone to look at and say 'wow. I relate to _____." In fact, I would even argue that a good piece of children's media has to be better than adult media because they have to be more subdued in their tones and more subtle with their symbolism to be child programming. And that's why mindless children's media pisses me the hell off. In Teen Titans we never truly see that Raven experienced abuse from her father, but it's implied with various scenes during Trigon's attack, or we never actually see Cyborg go through racism, but it's implied by way of his robotic parts. So to see these epic and amazing themes and character traits be flat out washed away by the idiotic mind numbing "Spongebob" that is Teen Titans Go! is aggravating to the highest extreme. Or with Big Hero 6, with the characters going through real, horrifying traumatic stress and grief, it brings kids or adults who have gone through this to the forefront, being able to relate to the characters. Or with Princess and the Frog when it comes to the idea of racial bias and working hard to achieve goals. Or How to Train Your Dragon with believing in a radical ideal. Or any fucking Doctor Seuss book. However, this isn't to say that simple kids programming is bad, necessarily, sometimes some distraction from the real world is great for kids so they don't become permanently grounded in reality, it's just saying that it shouldn't be considered as simple or bad. I mean, animated movies like How to Train Your Dragon, Princess and the Frog, Big Hero 6 all scored higher critically than last years' big artistic "blockbuster" American Sniper. But that might just be all my opinion.

Well, that went on into a very lengthy rant. Oh well, I'm used to it.

Happy Easter/Spring Break/Passover/Whatever Holiday.